My whole deal in less than 90 seconds:

I graduated with my Bachelor’s from Penn State University, feeling resigned to go to law school. Instead, I lucked into acceptance at the NBC Page Program, which might be the best job I’ll ever have despite it paying twelve dollars an hour.

Then I moved to Los Angeles, where I was first a harried assistant (sort of like Lloyd from Entourage), then a fledgling, repeatedly humbled producer (sort of like E from Entourage).

I do want to clarify that my life never felt like Entourage. Except for the one time Jerry Ferrara unexpectedly showed up to play against my friends and I in a beach flag football game.

This experience gifted me my favorite fantasy football team name – I Juked Jerry Ferrara – which is an achievement no one can ever take away from me.

Speaking of fantasy football, I’m often bad at it. I once had to re-take the SATs while hungover as punishment for getting in last place. As an adult man, I sat among 16 year olds and tediously filled in those wretched little bubbles while stinking of Coors Light.

I was absolutely a distraction. I may have kept kids out of Harvard. But perhaps the saddest part is I scored 40 points better than when I took the test in high school, when I was really trying.

As far as I know, my new SAT score did not factor into my acceptance to VCU Brandcenter, where I’ve been making friends and fake ads for the past year and a half.

One fun fact about me is I would like to earn some money, preferably while copywriting.