My brother once told me that only one out of every ten of my jokes were funny, but that one joke was usually good enough to excuse the other nine.


If that’s not being a copywriter, I don’t know what is.

My whole deal in less than 90 seconds:

I graduated with my Bachelor’s from Penn State University, feeling resigned to go to law school. Instead, I lucked into acceptance at the NBC Page Program, which might be the best job I’ll ever have despite it paying twelve dollars an hour.


Then I moved to Los Angeles, where I was first a harried assistant (sort of like Lloyd from Entourage), then a fledgling, repeatedly humbled producer (sort of like E from Entourage).


I do want to clarify that my life never felt like Entourage. Except for the one time Jerry Ferrara unexpectedly showed up to play against my friends and I in a beach flag football game.


This experience gifted me my favorite fantasy football team name – I Juked Jerry Ferrara – which is an achievement no one can ever take away from me.


Speaking of fantasy football, I’m often bad at it. I once had to re-take the SATs while hungover as punishment for getting in last place. As an adult man, I sat among 16 year olds and tediously filled in those wretched little bubbles while stinking of Coors Light.


I was absolutely a distraction. I may have kept kids out of Harvard. But perhaps the saddest part is I scored 40 points better than when I took the test in high school, when I was really trying.


As far as I know, my new SAT score did not factor into my acceptance to VCU Brandcenter, where I’ve been making friends and fake ads for the past year and a half.


One fun fact about me is I would like to earn some money, preferably while copywriting.